Establishing a set of healthy standards that both people mutually agree on helps a relationship to thrive. Many couples fight due to their standards being crossed or challenged. There is a notion that says couples should be intertwined and be as one. Not only can this outlook be unhealthy, but it also overshadows the identity of each individual involved. The reality is that everyone is their own individual and has their own threshold that must be upheld out of respect to their personal needs and/or wants.
Know What You Want
No one should enforce any standards on anyone. Establishing and speaking about one’s standards should be one of the most important conversations people have. It helps even more to have this discussion prior to actually coming together as a couple. This will prevent any disappointment, misunderstandings or inappropriate expectations. A person can’t expect something more or less than what they were told they’d receive. So, it is also important to not base one’s standards on the potential of someone else. Resentment can build as the person sees that the other individual is constantly disrespecting their standards.
Communicate Your Standards Thoroughly
Once a person knows exactly what they want, they should own it. And, they should also express exactly what they want to their partners. This will allow both people to see whether they are on the same page. If they are not on the same page, the other person has the opportunity to be forthcoming with their partner and express that they might not be able to meet certain standards. This gives everyone a fair chance to see any deal-breakers, commonalities, or things that need to be worked on in the connection.