In the entire history of man, we learn that civilisations and empires collapse when they become spiritually and morally bankrupt. Each time a society uses community, sharing and working together, it improves and grows. Once it experiences success, the rot starts to set in. People start to believe in their own power and become riddled with pride. Pride is a selfish emotion and in order to keep feeding prideful feelings, people need to keep getting things for themselves. They forget sharing and community and become all about me, me, me.
Today, the public’s taste for explicit sex and violence is akin to that which was seen in the Roman Amphitheatres. Lurid films are 2 clicks away. You can participate in any kind of sexual act you like as long as you know where to go to get it and are willing to pay. We have become so morally bankrupt that increasingly, you no longer have to pay. You are more likely to find willing partners than ever before. But worse still, we are less and less concerned to find out whether the other person is truly willing or not.
Cheating on your partner is a big deal, simply because to think otherwise is adding to your own individual moral bankruptcy. Cheating has become normalised in many circles. And what is normalised in one person, becomes acceptable amongst groups, until pretty soon, the whole of society is infected with ideas that are wrong – and that’s when the decline of entire civilisations happen.
Cheating is wrong simply because it empties your own emotional resources. It is literally like having emotional bulimia. You gorge yourself on a meal, and then feel so bad, you go and vomit it down the toilet. When you cheat, you gorge your lustful desires and then go and throw it up all over the person you claim to love.
What does this throwing up look like? Lies, deceit, defensiveness, irritation, criticism, judgement, withdrawal, and expectation – to name but a few. Betrayed partners often suspect that their partner is cheating because of a change in their behaviour. It’s not just that they start dressing better and wearing perfume or cologne more often – it’s that they were more grumpy and distant at home, more distracted by their phone and stopped communicating, they become angrier and more aggressive easily.
But this also shows that the partner who is cheating in now on a very dangerous emotional roller coaster. They have the highs of the affair activity, followed by the lows of their life back at home. And this kind of emotional roller coaster destroys emotional systems. We were not meant to experience such emotional highs and lows – we all experience life in a far superior way if our emotional systems operate in a balanced and calm way.
So, is cheating such a big deal. Yes, for the simple reason that the person who is cheating is committing emotional suicide.
And this individual death is just one tiny addition to the emotional genocide of mankind.